Prodigal

Good day Beloved.

It has been a lifetime since I put my thoughts down in print. All the happenings both near and far are disturbing, stressful, and most likely life changing. My wife died recently. She is the reason I am trying to restart this blog. She always wanted me to write again.

When I was last an active writer I had thoughts of eventually publishing a book of Monday Morning Musings. I felt fairly connected to the Creator back then. Now, not so much. How can I share with you what I have or am in the process of learning when it seems the teacher has turned His back to me. There is a kernel of knowledge in my head that says this is not in His nature. But the weight of what I feel and believe I see is much larger than that kernel. Do you understand what I am saying? My lack of “tech savvy” has hindered this sites rebirth as well.

So, I went back and looked at my writings past. The beginning of 2015 was the last time I put anything out there to ponder. Like I said earlier, a lifetime ago. Since that writing my wife became quite ill and recently passed away after almost 5 years of struggle. Forced retirement due to disability, job changes, family changes, critter changes. All the day to day things that influence the filters we put in front of our eyes whether we know it or not. I really am not sure when I decided that God turned His back on me. My head knows that is not His style but that filter is wrapped pretty tight around me. I am not sure if I will be able to change that or not. I must admit that I am somewhat lost since not needing to put all my energies into taking care of my wife. If it were not for the fact that I still have a lot of years in the workforce I may very well succumb to my instinct to isolate. Hopefully by the time I do retire I will have found a way to successfully deal with that instinct in the most healthy manner possible.

So what is the point I want you to ponder in all this? I think maybe that regardless of what our filters tell us, we are never truly left out to dry. It can be unbelievably hard to reach out especially when it seems every time you do you get your hand slapped away. I promise you Beloved, your Creator will never slap your hand away, especially when His “creations” do.

In His Service and Yours

Mona LangmaackMelin