Scars

Good day Beloved, it has been a hard week in my little world. I hope your week has been good or at least alright. As I write these thoughts the “feels like” temp outside is sitting at -11 and getting colder. I feel for those who are trying to survive in this cold. With that in mind my troubles seem a bit small and petty. Given that I am also sitting by a fireplace as I write with my pup crashed on her faux lambs wool bed. I am fortunate to be sure. It is not often that I lose sight of that awareness. I grew up dirt poor so I am grateful for all the comforts that I have.

Along the way I have gathered my fair share of scars. Both visible and invisible. Some inflicted by others, some self-inflicted. The longer I go about “dealing” with my issues, the more I come to grips with the fact that I’ve never learned how to process emotion. Emotions tend to come out sideways for me a lot of times, particularly the hard ones. I have started the process of doing improvements in the house and have had a strange reaction to a new front door. Seems I am struggling with a survivors guilt of sorts at being able to start fixing up things around the house now that I am alone. Given that in the just past part of my life I was a fulltime care provider, there was simply no time or available funds to do what I have started to do now. Simple fact. So why am I having a hard time with this? I think about all the various and sundry scars that I have gathered over the years. All the ones I have dealt with, come to grips with. Whatever language you want to use. This too will be dealt with and overcome and healed.

Some scars actually represent good things, like the long scar on my shoulder. It represents a good choice that I made to take of myself and get my shoulder fixed up. Do you have good scars? I think most people do whether or not you think that way about it. Everyone has some kind of scars, yeah. I just realized that I am having a more difficult time of things right now that I want to admit. I say that because instead of having this post up as Monday begins I am trying to get it out before Monday is over. What can I say, seems my rollercoaster is on a down swing right now. I’m sure as we all continue to travel through this life we all will continue to gather scars of various degrees. Encouragement for us all, be aware and make good choices. That is the best any of can do, make good choices. Don’t ignore or hide yours scars. Acknowledge, embrace, and learn from all our scars.

Beloved, here is a bear hug, a kiss on the cheek, and an I love you in your ear.

Beloved, have a lovely…

Mona Langmaackmelin