Hineini

Good Day Beloved,

Hey, how are you doing today? Who are you today? Do you ever wonder who you are? Do you understand the title of this post? Hineini (he nay nee) is Hebrew and means Here Am I. Here am I, send me. Here am I, I am listening. Here am I, all that I am, all that I will be, all that I ever was. Here Am I.

I think for us to be able to say, Hineini, here am I, we need to be comfortable in our own skin. Have you ever, even for a moment wondered if you were living the life that was actually meant for you? Have you ever felt like you were born in the wrong era? Ever wonder what life would have been like if one of your biological parents had decided to be with some one other than with the person you know? I grew up listening to the albums that my sister left behind when she moved out of the house.

She is 16 years older than I. This means I grew up listening to 60’s music. Protest songs, a different kind of love song. All kinds of stuff. I have always loved the “oldies”. Music is a powerful thing, yeah. I also grew up hearing a little story once in a while that my name was written down wrong on the birth certificate, but no one bothered to get it fixed. This means that I was intended to have my middle name as my first name. Following me?

My first and middle names were switched. Not a huge deal right? Yeah. I always believed and will to my dying breathe that I would be a totally different person if my name were what it was originally intended to be. In the original order, the meaning of my names would be, in essence, dear one who is a wise protector. As it is now, the meaning is reversed to be wise protector who is a dear one. Pretty big difference if you think about it. I know people who struggle with who they are in life altering ways. You probably do too. It could be anything from someone being a “tomboy” or a sensitive kid all the way to being a transgender person. EVERYONE struggles with something. It is NOT good or bad. It just is.

Would the activist be the same person if they had grown up the country rather than the city or vice versa? Would the teacher be the same wonderful teacher if they had grown up in a different state? I have heard all kinds of arguments on both sides of the nature/nurture debate. Personally, I think the scales are fairly balanced on this one with both sides being important in how we turn out. Every thing and every one that lives cannot help but be influenced by the environment they grow up in. The hardwiring is there for certain, but the environment can affect the twists and turns of the wiring.

Is a Maple tree that grows in your yard different than a Maple tree that grows in a Bonsai pot? Both have the same tree hardwiring, but the circumstances are very different. Both are a beautiful piece of art. You would be hard-pressed to convince me that one is better than the other. Differences are not bad; they are just well, different. I am of the opinion that it is perfectly OKAY to think about what “might have been”. I would however encourage you to not get lost in that place. Make the most of where you are right at this moment.

If you want to end up in different place, don’t give up. Fight for what you truly believe is right for you. You are the only you we have so, please make every effort to be the best you possible. Here is something else I want you to think about. YOU ARE BELOVED. Right now, right here where you are, you are beloved. You want to stay where you are, that’s OKAY. You want change, that’s OKAY. To me, no matter what you think, you are BELOVED. We all answer to and live with the consequences of our choices.

Today, at this moment, I make the choice to call you BELOVED. Do I think I may not necessarily be who I was truly intended to be, yeah? That’s okay. It is my responsibility to be the best me I can be, here and now. It is your responsibility to be the best you that you can be. Let’s support each other in our endeavors.

Beloved, Hineini, here am I, when you need to hear, Beloved, have a lovely…

Mona LangmaackMelin