Brave and Beloved

Hello Beloved, how is your world today? I have been contemplating things gone by lately. I am now 5 years out from the death of my long term spouse. In the beginning I wanted very much to push away and rid my world of all reminders of married life. We were together a bit more than 34 years so there was a lot of reminders. I spent the first three years so getting rid of stuff and the fourth year was mostly full of despair and lately I have been finding myself again or maybe for the first time.

I finally realized that I could and maybe should give myself permission to change and become my own person. For the first time in all years I was on my own. I was no longer a constant part of something. Who am I? That is a question every person needs to think about and answer as truthfully as possible. Whatever answer you come up with regardless of what it is, I say own it within yourself. No need to proclaim it from the rooftops but look it squarely in the eye and own it.

I have for a long time pushed organized religion away as far as I possibly could due to the deep pain inflicted on me by said organization. “Jesus people” cut me deeply and pushed me right out the door. I don’t necessarily think they knew what they were doing. They were just doing things the way they had always seen things done. Does not excuse or affirm their actions but that is neither here nor there anymore.

Now I am interested in bringing back into my world a connection with my Higher Power, my Creator, my G-D. I hope I can inspire you to draw closer to your Creator as well, whatever name you know Him by. I think in general people world wide have tried to put God in box that fits their own thoughts and paradigm. God is so much bigger than that, so much bigger.

Come Beloved, sit with me and let us reason together. Let us explore together the big, wild, sometimes scary world of spirituality. Are you brave enough to push out the boundaries to which you have become accustomed? Are you willing to consider that there is way more to life than what we can see? We as a people do not need to put our lives into neat little compartments that we can lock up tight and ignore when it suits us. Life is community, life is messy, life is grabbing hold and hanging on tight while we explore the ride of our lives.